Direction(less) wonder

Commenting at Philip’s blog made me write this one. I have many friends who can give directions when they are asleep (Please dont read between lines). My allergy to directions started back in 1st standard when my mother’s brother tried to teach me North, East, West & South. I was good at every other subject – but I just didn’t have the brain to comprehend directions. To complicate matters further…my father was an atlas freak.

Pappa : Mone ..See what I have got for your Bday, a globe
Me : Pappa…Are you try to say that I am turning fat and should eat less ?
Pappa : hmmm…Now that you mentioned it…try not to finish one whole chicken for breakfast…..your mother is concerned about our food budget.
Pappa : Can you show me where Europe is ?
Me : Points to Antartica…
Pappa : ( After several futile attempts ) Mone…atleast show me Parappanangadi ( you guys don’t know this place…tsk..tsk )
Me : Points to Europe…
Pappa : ( Happily ) He answered my first question…he is picking it up slowly.

My wife is a master in directions…

Me : Darling…( that’s translation for Edi ) .. How to go to Super Walmart
Wife : hmm…I think that’s in the south…so if you take route 40 and then merge onto route 2 and then drive for 2 miles on I 95 and get into route 36…it should come on your left
Me : You free ???

My friends often call me for directions…(If they are desperate and they don’t get anyone else on phone)

Sudip : Eda…I want to reach Peoples Plaze…go to google maps and find where it is …
Me : Sure …where are you now….
Sudip : I am at the intersection of Salem Rd and Route 20.
Me : Go straight…and tell me when you see Old Baltimore Rd
Sudip : ( After 20 mins ) … I see old Baltimore Rd..
Me : OK….you have to turn right on the previous intersection.
Sudip : #*$&

I India I used to stop every 5 mins to ask for directions from thattu kada wallahs

Me: Chetta …. How to go to my house..
Chettan: Why are you late today…I was waiting for you to close my shop…you go straight and take the next left and its your house is on the right.

In US…there are no thattu kadas…so I went and bought one GPS.

GPS : Turn left on Harmony Rd…
GPS : Recalculating … Turn right on Pattambi square
GPS : Recalculating….Turn right on Ambalapuzha avenue
GPS : Recalculating…..Turn left before next intersection….Atlantic ocean ahead
GPS : Recalculating….. Maanga tholi…Naayinde mone….For the love of god, throw me out if you are going to suicide….$##*